REHEARSAL GUIDELINES
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GUIDELINES FOR REHEARSAL

These are just guidelines; you can do almost anything you want and it is okay! After all, it is your wedding!  

Before beginning the rehearsal you want to determine how the bride and groom and the entire wedding party will stand for the ceremony. There are options. The traditional way (minister facing people and bride and groom with backs to people); a slight variation of this with bride and groom turned slightly toward each other; the reverse of the traditional (bride and groom facing people and minister’s back or side toward the people); everyone facing the people; or the bride and groom facing the minister but standing sideways (profile) to the people.  

You may consider having music (live, taped, CD, or whatever) beginning at any part of the ceremony described below. You may consider a piece of music for the beginning and a special piece for the bride’s entrance.

The maid of honor should be very aware of helping the bride with her dress, train, and bouquet as she approaches the minister, especially if there are stairs. She should be alert to help her as she moves about and prepares to leave at the end of the ceremony.

After all your other guests are seated, grandparents are seated, then mothers. (This is really the beginning of the ceremony.) An usher or groomsman (offering their right arms to female guests) escorts grandmothers, then mothers, up the aisle, with husbands or escorts following along. If you choose to have a unity candle, at this point the mothers go to the table up front and light the two thin candles, symbolizing your individual personalities. They then go their seats. The bride’s usual side (as you face the front) is to the left, with the groom’s side to the right; whether you want other guests, beyond immediate family, to follow this order is up to you.

The minister, groom and best man enter from the front or come up the main aisle. The remaining groomsmen, arranged by height usually, with the tallest man first, can enter with the minister, groom and best man or they may enter after the minister, groom, and best man are in their places. Then the bridesmaids enter, each waiting until the one before her is at least halfway up the aisle or completely in place up front. The maid, or matron, of honor always enters alone, just before the bride. If there is a flower girl and/or ring bearer, they enter between the maid/matron of honor and the bride. (If one or the other is very young and needs some steering, it might be best to put them in front of the maid/matron of honor rather than in front of the bride.) Once at the front, the attendants face the guests, turning slightly to follow the bride’s walk down the aisle. The bride is usually escorted by her father or mother, or other male figure important to her, but may be escorted by both parents, or may walk in alone.  

Once the bride reaches the front, her father may lift her veil, kiss her, shake hands with the groom, or interlock the bride and groom’s arms or hands and then be seated. (Later, if you choose to have this part in your wedding, when the father or parents are asked who gives this bride/broom away, they can just answer from their seats.) The bride and groom can turn and face each other, lock arms, or hold hands. The attendants can turn sideways and face the bride and groom. Just before the vows, the minister will ask the couple to join right hands. The bride will pass her bouquet to the maid of honor at this time. 

If you choose to have a unity candle, both the bride and groom approach the table where their parents lit the two candles at the beginning of the ceremony. The bride and groom each take a light from their parents’ candles and light the large middle candle.
 
The last part of the ceremony will be the announcement of you as husband and wife. This is your cue to kiss, and ours to applaud. After a few moments, the groom will offer his right arm to his bride and they walk back down the aisle. Best man and maid/matron of honor will follow together, after which male and female attendants walk back arm in arm. Parents of the bride and groom leave next, followed by grandparents, immediate family, and guests beginning at the front rows proceeding to the back rows.

If one of you is Jewish and you wish to incorporate some elements of the Jewish ceremony (with or without a rabbi or cantor), you can start with the “Jewish format” processional as shown here. This offers a special opportunity for the entry of the bride’s grandparents, followed by the groom’s grandparents, to begin the ceremony. Once they are seated, (the rabbi/cantor and) I enter, followed by the groomsmen and the best man. Then the groom will enter, escorted by both his parents. Following the groom, the bridesmaids will enter, then the maid/matron of honor, the flower girl and ring bearer, and finally the bride on the arms of both her mother and father. Arriving at the front, the bride and groom, maid/matron of honor and best man, and both sets of parents join (the rabbi/cantor and) me underneath the chuppah. The remaining attendants take their place outside the chuppah. When the Jewish service is over, the bride and groom march out first, followed by the bride’s parents, groom’s parents, maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids, groomsmen, best man.

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